How to find confidence > Make it about them.
The fear of embarrassing yourself. The fear of looking stupid. The fear of being unable to articulate your thoughts in a manner that you want to.
That’s what I struggle with on consistent basis.
I hear this quote all of the time. “The thing you think about it what is going to happen.”
I learned this in a book I read a long time ago about baseball. It was called the Mental Game of Baseball.
The basis of the book was pretty simple. Your mindset and what your think about is directly related to what you will actually do.
So, if you’re thinking “just don’t strike out” or “I just don’t want to get out.”
Your brain does not see the “don’t.” Your brain does not even know the word “don’t” is in that phrase.
The only thing your brain is going to think about is striking out or getting out.
So when you’re going out into the world, the same thing is occurring.
When you say “don’t be awkward” or “I just don’t want to look stupid” you’re brain is going to be thinking about these things.
And things you consistently think about will become reality.
Okay, but how does one overcome these negative thought patterns?
Because “I don’t even think that I can control them anymore.”
Well, I don’t think it’s easy by any means. But once you bring awareness to the situation. You know what you need to be thinking about.
You need to be thinking about the possibilities not the potential failure.
And you need to practice these traits because it’s ultimately not about you. You have to stop making it about you. You have to stop making fear get in the way.
No matter what you’re doing, you’re pursuing something.
And that pursuit has to be bigger than getting embarrassed, looking stupid, or not being good at something.
You have to want what’s best for everyone. And avoiding situations or being fearful is not DOING what is best for everyone, especially you.
If you’re afraid to fail, you are a lot more likely to fail or not even try.
But if you want to go after the win. You have to look at what you can gain and the impact it can have. And you have to believe in the mission more then you fear looking like a fool in front of people.
The mission that I am currently pursuing is a lot more important to me than looking stupid or feeling inadequate.
My goal when I was younger was to be a big part of the educational system change. From a young age I wanted to reinvent the education system. I am so passionate about being involved in the education system because I believe that I could have been way better off if I had been shown a different route.
And I can’t fail the kids I have worked with in the past or the kids I am going to be able to impact because I am fearful of doing hard things. I just can’t.
Nerves will show up. That’s reality.
But as the late Kobe said, “it’s not about you.”
Ask yourself what the mission of your life is. Vote that the mission and the people you are going to help is more important to you then the fear of looking stupid.
Yeah, it might be uncomfortable, but it’s about more than just you.
Make it about them.
Go be the best.